Fast as slurry off a grape, (But not on a Harley!) :o): Still no sign of Lomax...........

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Still no sign of Lomax...........

Still no sign of Lomax.

I got up three times through the night to call Lomax at the back door, after going to bed at 1.45am. Checked the ‘junk store’, and the log store, each time in case he was in there and too tired, or injured, to be able to come to the back door.

I took the Harley out and after I’d got a birthday card for my niece, Olivia, I drove around all the roads around here, and the posh estate behind me, looking for him. It was raining and I got soaked, so I turned on the heating, and lit the fire, and once again felt guilty. It was pouring outside, and all I can see in my mind is him somewhere out there, feeling alone, hungry, scared and wretched. I missed him watching me as I prepared to light it. He was always so fascinated, and would look up at me, back to the fireplace, and up to me again, as if to say “This is really great, innit?”

And y’know, it was great. For someone so small, and not human either, he filled a room. If he wasn’t somehow interacting with me, he was watching. Sometimes he was sound asleep, but if you got out of the chair, at least one eye would crack open at least a few thou’ just to check out what was happening.

I used to love to watch him sleeping, his little body rising and falling with each breath, and loved how perfect he was, how young, how completely undamaged by life. Just so handsome and perfect. I loved making his day as good as it could be.

I miss him so much.

God, I hope he’s at least somewhere dry tonight.

Everything I do here, however small, had some involvement with him, or he influenced how I did it one way or another, even if only checking he wasn’t under my feet. In most things I do I’m constantly reminded he’s not here.

I’ve just had some ham and tomatoes, stood at the cutting board…….. my staple diet. He loooooved the cheap sliced Lidl’s ham. No matter how sneaky and quiet I was, and even if he was stuck into his grub around the corner, he’d know I was at it, and would pester me ceaselessly for some. He was a ham junkie. I looked down as I was eating it, and there was no Lomax stood on his hind legs, his lithe body stretched to full length, and no little face beseeching me for a morsel.

I can’t believe this hurts so much, I really can’t.

Be safe, wherever you are, and find your way home old son.

I miss you.

K.

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Welcome to the ramblings of an Old Greaser :o)

Hi there,
welcome to my ramblings, those of an Old Greaser who's been around the block a few times too many.

Some ramblings will be of no interest whatsoever, and some will wander all over the joint, often ending up way clear of where they were heading in the first place.

Some will be bad, and some will be good. Some will have only got on here because of the lethal immediacy of the Internet, and all will prolly get tweaked, altered, modified and deleted or added to after I revisit them and have second thoughts.

So, check stuff recently written, and don't be surprised to find it changed, because i am all too vulnerable to the immediacy of how I'm feeling at any given time, and the technology means there's no delay to posting thoughts, :o)

Having said all that, I generally don't edit what I write all that much, and so you do tend to get the raw thoughts, especially as I have a direct brain-to-keyboard link, with the censure permanently off for a spin somewhere or other. Although I generally leave things as they are, sometimes I might change things because I realise perhaps I have been less than wise in how I've said something. :o)

This is started from the position of Not Having a Life, not in the way most people have lives anyway, but more in common with a medieval hermit, only with lots of toys and 'stuff' to play with............ IF I can be bothered, that is.

If you have an open mind, you might like what I reveal here, not that it is likely to be particularly earth shattering, but it is likely to sometimes be outside of what a lot of people think, or rather would like to openly express and admit to thinking. It's certainly going to be very un-PC, and Anti-Bullshit........... two things that never fail to flash me up and light the fuse. :o)

It will sometimes be full of humour, unless I’ve really got steam up about something or other, but even then the humour will often creep in. Bear in mind that I often have my tongue in my cheek, and what I say is more likely meant to amuse that to offend, so hitch up to that, and laugh rather than get pissed at me. :o)

Although, if you're a manager or in a position of responsibility for others at any level whatsoever, who is in truth actually a workshy, bullying, egotistical psychopathic bastard or bitch then, yes, every perceived insult is indeed intended for you. Weenies, and bullshitters are included. I hate you with a passion.

Genuinely good managers and people in authority are, however, worth their weight in gold and to be cherished and saluted, but, personally, I have found to be few and far between.

However, on a lighter note, sometimes I think I’m being soooooo damn funny, and I forget that I’m writing for people who don’t know me, and won’t always get it. To that end I'll often put in an emoticon..... :o).......... :oI .........:o( ……….etc to try to make sure things aren't taken the wrong way. :o)

If it comes across badly, have another read of it, …………and if it still seems badly, well, that's just tough shit! :o))))

If you really think I’ve stepped over a line, let me know, and if I agree, I’ll tweak it and put it right.

Anyway, like I said,........... Welcome. :o)

To enlarge photos in the main Blog........

Fast as slurry off a grape, (But not on a Harley!) :o)

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Still no sign of Lomax...........

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One of those moments........

NEVER.........