Rambling on the beach.............. :o)

Well, I’m on the beach here at Axmouth………. Rattled down on the Harley, after starting to get some work done in the workshop, as The Harley’s due it’s Mot on Thursday and the damn belt-drive is scuffing the tyre somehow. I stood there looking at her, canted over on her stand in the sun, and she looked back at me and said, “Fuck it, run me down to the coast man!”

So here we are…….. she’s up there in the sun basking in the attentions of those who pass her, and I’m down here listening to the surf tirelessly rolling the pebbles around in it’s foamy caress. Poetic, that doncha think? I’ve been reading James May, the Top gear columnist, and he’s very good……. Right up my street………. Unafraid to fly in the face of convention and the barricades of bullshit everyone hides behind these days. A very funny man.

The beach is pretty well deserted, apart from a few people so far away it’s hard to make them out. The nearest to me is over a hundred yards away, and is a bit distracting in that she’s divested herself of all clothing except what may well be a tiny pair of knickers. Can’t quite see to be certain, given that I only have the luxury of a sidelong glance, but she sure whipped the top off quick enough.

I’m bleddy sure they do it on purpose y’know. Never mind, I’m pretending to nonchalantly be uninterested, as she’s pretending that I’m not too. It’s all a bleddy game isn’t it? Every single woman who gets her kit off within eye-shot of some poor bloke, knows full well she’s distracting the poor bastard from his reading matter. I don’t care who you are, or how much you say you’re not bothered….. you bleddy notice at the very least. you just tell yourself not to look, but it's a helluva job not to let the eyeballs swivel in their direction. :o)

Where was I……….. being poetic about the foamy surf, rolling ceaselessly up on the shore, turning the pebbles like a giant polishing machine, ...........like she just turned a moment ago, making sure she was looking over here as she did so, to make sure I was making sure I wasn't looking. Jees, what games we all play. Sweetheart, is it really necessary to fling you’re lovely long hair about like that, let alone your Items Of Distraction?

Bollocks, I’m not going to give her the satisfaction……… besides another one has beached herself to Starboard, and is at least keeping her kit on in consideration for the poor old bastard sat over here. :o)

Shit, lookout, ..........her friend is manoeuvring down the beach, a big lass, but very pretty, and has just smiled nicely, and so I smiled back. Nice and civilised it is too. Look at us all here……….. all on our own, and who knows what stage of life we’re all on, each with an entwined story, uniquely complicated and unimaginable, but nevertheless we're all separated by convention. Unwritten rules of separation, long since written in stone.

Yup those rules made for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men (Douglas Bader, Reach For The Sky), but what courage it takes to break them. A beach, is still a very private place. Only a very few would transgress, and sit nearby especially in such a wide empty space, and rightly so. How many would welcome the company though? Maybe more than you would think, our society being so high in numbers of unattached and single people. We are so wary of people these days too…….. strangers, and especially women wary of single men, weirdoes every one of us.

How did we ever get to be so afraid of each other unless reliably introduced?

I can remember, years ago, sitting on a beach with a girlfriend I had at the time, and a deaf bloke walked up, sat right down beside her on the far side from me, and started chatting to her. He could communicate quite well, and was soon sat down beside her nattering, and signing away. What pissed me off, was the bloody nerve of it. He was definitely blatantly ‘chatting’ her up, and there was I sat on the other side of her not included in the conversation one bit. It was exactly as if I wasn’t there…… he didn’t even say “Hello” to me in any way whatsoever, right from the start. The girlfriend said later that she didn’t like to be rude, especially since he was deaf, and maybe, she thought, lonely. I didn’t say anything either, as I didn’t want to seem petty. I was certain he was well used to using this as a chat-up technique, but, with hindsight kinda had to admire his balls……… (as in ‘courage’, you understand!) Courageous enough in approaching a single girl alone on a beach, but when her boyfriend is sat there right next to her, well, it was going to get him a slap one day.

Anyway, that’s kinda besides the point……….. it being, why not try to engage someone in conversation? What’s there to lose? If they don’t like it, it’s going to be obvious enough, and easy to just politely disengage and walk away. These constraints, especially seemingly the British rules of engagement, are soooooo powerful though. I would love to have someone’s company here, preferably female it has to be admitted, although not for the obvious reasons you, dear reader might think, but pretty well nothing would get me to approach anyone here to start a conversation. Not unless it was very easy to do.

Weird, huh?

Yup, pretty damn weird.

Hey, lookup, some chick approaches now with a dog in tow……….. nope……. I gave her a smile, said “He looks keen to get in the water”……… she smiled very slightly as if to say "You've got a bloody nerve", and looked the other way. Never said a word in reply. Shit, man, I must be a real bleddy ugly guy. I might as well have asked her to lose the dog, and come over and sit on my nob for the way she reacted. I guess "He looks keen to get in the water" sounds like "Fancy a shag".

Maybe it amounts to the same thing for a woman. I suppose you'd have to be one to experience being hit on all the time, and when you are, you hear words differently. Conversations take on a different slant. I think I could hack it though. I'd far rather have to turn opportunities down than have none at all.

Would ANY man ignore a woman who politely spoke to him? I think not, and if he did, what a rude pig he would be. Women sure do get licence to be as rude as they like. I guess it goes with an abundance of choice and opportunity. It’s as if speaking will get you raped. Maybe that’s what it’s all about. She knows getting into a conversation may well result in something she doesn’t want, so it’s simpler to just ignore a guy's approach. I guess I can see the logic, but some of us are decent enough not to push their luck beyond acceptability.

It really is all to do with looks, and don’t bother telling me otherwise……… boy am I ever sick of hearing that it’s all about personality. Take my buddy Mad Eddie in the States…………. Some three or four years younger than me, but waaaaay better looking……… man, he has women crawling all over him. Waitresses giving him their number, smiles galore on the street, the works. A few years ago, I had far less trouble engaging women in light conversation, getting eye contact, smiles etc. I’m not saying it was an everyday thing, but it certainly wasn’t difficult. Now…………. It’s got so bad that one single acknowledgement of the briefest duration is notable. Since I turned fifty it’s all gone tits up.

Not about looks?

I think it is all about looks.

Tha's not as bitter and twisted as it sounds......... I do undersatnd how it works, i just wish others would admit that looks do count hugely that's all. :o)

Hey ho, (half an hour later now) just had a nice chat to another woman walking her dog……… I’d walked down to the water’s edge here, and was kicking stones into the water as she came along……….. she had a watch, and I was wondering at what time it was, so I asked. Said her dog was nice, and had he been in the water yet, and we had a nice long chat. Nice. And guess what, I didn’t rape her, soon learned that she had a husband, partner, whatever, and that was fine. We chatted, and as soon as she seemed to want to move on, I went with it, and off she went. Just a nice chat. Proof, if you need it, that we’re not all monsters.

Yes, it would’ve been great had she been free and available, suddenly thought I was Mr Wonderful, and begged me to introduce The Ferret there and then, but she wasn’t, she didn’t, and I was just fine with it. Why wouldn’t I be. :o)

Maybe some women just don’t give you the time of day because it’s like doing you a favour, and I have to say, it's usually the good looking ones. Well, there’s a saying, that the mark of a man (woman) is how he (she) treats someone who is of no obvious use to them. By that standard, the woman I’ve just spoken to is a far nicer woman that the snooty one with her nose in the air. She may not have been as pretty, but sure was far nicer.

Mind you, I guess, too, it’s all a big skill, talking to strangers……….. so shyness could be the deal with Miss Snooty, so I guess I’ll cut her some slack. no, soddit, she didn't look very shy to me. you can kinda tell. :o)

Maybe I should make it a new hobby kinda thing, starting conversations with strangers, and not just women because, God knows, I could do with some more friends. (Sigh)

Never mind, its’ the way it goes I guess, and anyway, it’s a glorious day here.

It’s about 5.40pm now…….. wind’s getting a bit chilly, AND Topless over there has slipped her bra back on, so things must be getting real nippy.

When I win the lottery, I’m gonna do this every damn day! Cruise around, and sit on beaches. Well, not just on beaches, but I guess you know what I mean.

Ok, that’s it……… another ramble about bugger-all, and all raw straight-from-within thoughts too, so don’t judge me too harshly dear reader. Y’all think weird and politically incorrect thoughts too, (oh yes you do!!) I just openly express them, that's all. Bear that in mind when you’re sniffing haughtily at what’s written here in this blog. :o)

Topless is getting dressed, ……………….. and I guess I should be hustling the Harley home too.

Bye for now.............

K. :o)

Life, losing it........and on getting it back.

Just a few lines to at least add something to this blog. Completely blank mind, as per usual, but sometimes if I just start writing, something will happen across the synapses. Trouble is, not much has been happening to me lately, as per the usual, so that doesn’t help a whole lot. I’m someone who really needs to Get A Life, although I have to say it’s harder to do than most people seem to think. The trouble with a Life is that, once you’ve lost it, finding it again, or getting a new one isn't so easy, because they seem to be in damn short supply.

Like everything in life, Reality doesn’t hit until it hits you. Most bad things happen to someone else, and if you're anything like me, when they happen to you, you're always kinda surprised and so, like I said; ....Reality doesn’t hit until it hits you

If you've actually got a Life……… hey, what’s the problem, man?

If you haven’t got a life, you’ll soon be able to tell the asshole/smug bastard/sonofabitch/lucky blighter with a Life, what the problem is! ............. Once you get to be able to figure it out, that is.

Funny thing, life. Maybe it’s the Universal Law applying, that says it takes a lot or energy, power, whatever you want to call it, to move something when it’s stopped, and maybe that ‘law’ applies even to something as unambiguous as ‘Life’.

Yup, anything which is stopped takes far more of that precious energy to get it rolling again, than it takes to keep it rolling once it’s moving. What's more, you’d better have some momentum on board to allow the energy to overcome the bumps, slopes and hills, or you’ll grind to a halt when you hit them, which will need more of that energy, and so on and so on.

Pretty much most of my adult life, once I’d finally learnt some of life’s basic lessons as a late teenager/ early twenties, I’ve always kept a mind to that momentum and had some in reserve to cope with the hills. You have plenty of that energy to overcome the obstacles anyway when you’re young, unless you hit too many cliffs and sheer mountain faces.

I’d always take care of the smallish ho-de-hum daily stuff that can cause problems, or big trouble if enough stacks up on top of the other. Taking care of the money, keys, credit/charge cards, maintenance of my bikes and cars, paying the bills on time, keeping out of debt no matter what I had to go without, maintaining good(ish) health and fitness, keeping in work despite hating what I did most of the time; ………. y’know, standing on my own two feet, and doing all the stuff most people do to avoid their Life grinding to a halt. Or worse…….. breaking down, or crashing into bits.

If you keep on top of it all, it’s not so bad, or so hard to do, BUT if something knocks you off your perch, and if you don’t have the momentum or backup to lever yourself back up to speed, THEN it all becomes a whole new can of worms.

I hit depression as a result of pressures of work………. mostly the result of weenies (small 'w'), Bullshit and Political Correctness, and all the ammunition it gives people with no experience, talent or ability to step all over those who do have these things. With hindsight I realise I’d suffered from depression on and off since late childhood, but it didn’t last long; usually a day or so at the most and not especially debilitating even then. When it did hit me for a good solid length of time, grinding me down no matter how hard I tried to keep going until I finally just couldn’t crawl into work one day, it was a surprise. It wasn’t as bad as it can get by any means, but bad enough that I lost the energy to keep this life moving as smoothly(ish) as it was.

When I was off sick with it, and doped up on those fucking pills that seemed to help only by way of doping me up, then it was all I could do was keep Life going at a slowest crawl. I was on my own with it, and so only the very barest essentials were maintained. Sometimes I wouldn’t even wash for days on end, let alone bath or shower, and as for everything else, .........well forget it.

Although much better now, and back to work now for some three years part time, I have lost all that Vim I once had. Everything’s too much damn trouble home here. I'm doing ok, but only just in the eyes of many 'normal' people. I don't eat well, hardly ever clean the place, although that means as in dusting and hoovering. Nothing's rotting in a corner, or going mouldy in the kitchen. I go to work, and work hard there, but I come home and just grind to a halt as soon as I walk though the door. Like I said........ it's better than it was, and even then not as bad as it CAN get ........... I'm not by any means just sat here looking into space and crying into my beer (I don't drink anyway), …….. I read a lot, and spend time on the computer and Internet, not games and things, but as regards writing the blogs and reading about all the things I’m interested in.

Living alone with no Chick doesn’t help one bit, because if I’m prepared to put up with whatever needs to be done, eat bugger-all food, (as in a good diet), housework, etc etc, then I don’t have to do it. There’s only me here………. although there was Lomax, my kitten, here too, but he disappeared a month ago at seven months old, and I sure do miss the little chap. He was great company, and we were glued to the hip, me and him.

So, with not bothering with this, and not bothering with that, and having few friends who want to do much that involves me, slowly Life erodes and deteriorates until it’s as stripped-down a life as you can have and still resemble someone ‘normal’ with a life.

Don’t misunderstand me here……….. It could be far worse, but it could also be a fuck’s sake better too. ........ it's just bad enough that skies are never as blue, the rain and the cold feels that bit worse, and There is just never enough energy and inspiration to fire you up for much at all.
And, yes, thanks all you smug bastards out there,........... but I do realise it’s my fault, and that only I can get it all going again……… (and I WILL …..soon(ish)),.......... so bugger off back to your Ikea kitchen and your perfect life and do us all a favour.

(Hey! Don't get so pissed......... I was just (kinda) joking around, ok?) :o)

All it would take is the impetus, energy inspiration and initiative to make about 500% more effort, and I’d be back up there bouncing along with the best of them. I can’t explain it, but the nearest I can get to explaining it is by saying that it’s like an invisible wall you just can’t get over, under, around or through, and you just can’t see why not either.

Bit like a housefly on a hot day, hammering against a glass window and trying to get out. I often watch them and feel sorry for the little blighters. .............. (That'd be just before I kill them spectacularly dead with a Ikea magazine then!)

(Did you see what I did there, eh???) :o)

Still, what keeps me going, and moving towards cracking it, is the fact that you never know what’s around the corner, …….. as my dear old Daddy used to say.

That little hedgehog didn’t know someone was going to find him, did he? ………he’s one very lucky hedgehog, because she’s going to be the backup that gets him back up to speed again. I sure hope so anyway.

OK, that’s gotta be it, or I’ll be here all day……… I finally got the Muse, and got going, y’see?

If you’ve got a life, and especially if it’s a Good One, (Complete with that Ikea kitchen and the perfect kids) then take real good care of it.

The worst thing you can do is think it can never happen to you…………. falling off your Last Twig, that is. One minute you're surrounded by thick leafy branches, and the next all you can hear is that last twig breaking.................. and the echo of a sudden yell on the long way down.

If you're real lucky, the most precious thing you have is your Woman or your Man……….. Take THAT for granted at your peril.

I know……….. because I once did.

Bye, bye y'all

K.xxx :o)

A meal and then clubbing with My Girls, a few inspirational quotes, and some Rube Goldberg gadgets. :o)

Went out for a meal last night with a load of staff ('My Girls') I used to work with last year, and then to a big pub, which is pretty much a night club in all but name……. the same one I went to a couple of weeks ago or so, with the bunch of staff I work with now.

It was a great night out, and we had a great laugh. They are a good bunch, and the humour is terrific when we are all together. I was in ‘Entertain’ mode, and the restaurant owner said they were all welcome back, excepting myself. He was smiling though.

(Thankyou God for a great night out.)

I got back home, and it’s silence had the usual ‘flattening’ effect. Another rare night out in the company of people with full lives, and another return alone to a quiet house. Jeees, how many times have I come back to a quiet house? Still, at least I don’t have to put up with someone else’s shit I guess. Some would gladly swap places with me in a heartbeat, eh? :o)

(Thankyou God I don’t have to put up with someone else’s shit!) :o)

Had a bad night………. bad dreams which kept me wakening up through the night. Stood outside for a while pondering on it all, and calling for Lomax, as I do every time I happen to get up at night. Made a cuppa, had a read, and back to sleep at four-ish. Slept on and off then until nine.

Exciting life, innit? :oI

(Thankyou God for waking to another day)

This blog isn’t kicking off today……… no inspiration.

Give up for today, eh? Sometimes you’ve just got to let it go.

Instead,……….. here’s some quotes I found whilst browsing around the ‘net this morning. I just might inspire someone else today. :o)

"I never knew I was going to get to the result until I got there." -- Pablo Pardo

"The perfect state of creative bliss is having power (you are 50) and knowing nothing (you are 9). This assures an interesting and successful outcome."
-- Tibor Kalman

The good news is that you can become more innovative just by taking some action, however small, today. My favorite book on this subject is The Knowing-Doing Gap. In one section of the book, 49ers coach Steve Mariucci explains how he stamps out inaction by not sporting a watch:
"Always know what time it is. It is always NOW. And NOW is when you should do it."

"The best measure of a blog is not how many people it reaches, it’s how much it changes what you do. Changes your posture, your writing, your transparency, your humility. What blogging has done for me is made me think. I get to think about how the outside world will understand something I’m trying to do, for example."- Seth Godin

Exhilaration is the Breeze
That lifts us from the Ground
And leaves us in another place
Whose statement is not found
-Emily Dickinson

................ And here's some U-Tube links:-

This wooden marble 'adding machine' would be fun to make........... maybe a lot bigger with more adding slots to calculate a far bigger number.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDshWmhF4A&feature=channel

Here's a link to a music machine........... whether you think it sounds good or not is immaterial really.............. just think of the work to put it together, eh????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Ajg1G3vik

That got me looking at Automata........... something that's always fascinated me, and which I'd love to get around to making someday. I'd love to make something that is complicated, and goes all around the woods to do bugger-all in the end.

I love the setups where, like a row of falling dominoes, a whole series of events results in something trivial happening at the end. There's a name for these chain- reaction mechanisms but it escapes me right now.............

Ah, yes............ Rube Goldberg Mechanisms.

There's several on U-Tube........... Honda did one, which was an advert called "Cog", and was quite brilliant in itself, using nothing but Honda car parts!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYabfifhEPE

The best one though is absolutely fantastic, called 'The way Things Go'. It used many more spectacular chain reactions, fire and fireworks being amongst them, and although it's a little more amateurish and less 'slick' than the Honda one, it's actually far better, at over a hundred feet long, and lasting for 30 minutes in the full version

Here's a U-Tube link to a shorter version...........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U82eWptFxSs

There's bloke called Theo Jansen who designs and builds the fantastic Strandbeests:-

"Since 1990 I have been occupied creating new forms of life.
Not pollen or seeds but plastic yellow tubes are used as the basic material of this new nature. I make skeletons that are able to walk on the wind, so they don’t have to eat.
Over time, these skeletons have become increasingly better at surviving the elements such as storms and water and eventually I want to put these animals out in herds on the beaches, so they will live their own lives."

have a look at his website........... fascinating, it really is. No electronics whatsoever, which means absolutely no computers of any size at all.

here's a link to them working.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_eY22R0TWE&NR=1

........... and here's a U-Tube link to a lecture of his..........

http://www.strandbeest.com/

There's a BMW advert on the end, and a bit at the beginning, but ignore that. I guess he needs sponsorship, and I won't knock this absolutely genius guy for that! :o)

Ok, y’all have a good day out there,…. well, what’s left of it anyway .............. it's pretty much over here, as it's just gone 5.30pm.

Another day without Lomax bites the dust. I sure hope he's ok, wherever he is. :o(

K.